Unelectable hard-left Labour leadership candidate Jeremy Corbyn shocked political commentators and bookies alike in 2015 when Trotsky agents infiltrated the Labour party handing Corbyn a firm majority vote in every membership category. The political group Progress and Blairite MPs from the group ‘Anyone But Corbyn’ (ABC) declared his democratic election divisive and damaging, whilst publicly declaring they will activate project ‘Scorched Earth’ to unseat Corbyn at any cost to the party’s wider reputation.
Accusations of failure to lead the Labour party in a trajectory of electoral victory were fast to arrive on Corbyn’s doorstep, with local elections and four mayoral elections just around the corner. “Labour just can’t win under a man who’s built Europe’s largest political party, he’s utterly unelectable, we need more of the same that just lost us two elections.” Stated the Progress group.
The Labour Party under Jeremy Corbyn continued to perform far above expectations, matching the local electoral success of Ed Miliband and taking home every Mayoral election. To the general public it would seem the unelectable Jeremy Corbyn had won; a leadership election, local elections and multiple Mayoral elections. He’s passed every bench mark set for his leadership, one might say. Not content with that line of thought Labour’s own MPs were keen to reassure the public that Labour was winning elections DESPITE Corbyn, not because of him and that the party could still never win an election under his leadership.
Labour under Jeremy Corbyn continued after it’s electoral success to deliver a series of solid blows to David Cameron’s government; defeating him on disability cuts, defeating him on tax credit cuts, defeating him on the tampon tax, defeating him on the Saudi prison deal, Sunday working hours and more. This continuous show of strength had Labour beginning to match and at points overtake the Tories in the polls. So naturally ABC (anyone remember that Scorched Earth strategy the Blairites so willingly boast about?) orchestrated a mass resignation of the front benchers and activate a coordinated attack on Corbyn in the MSM. Talks of a full party split and a new leadership election send the polls and Labour’s popularity crashing.
With the second leadership contest underway between stalking horse Owen Smith and the democratically elected Jeremy Corbyn, new Labour supporters attempt to flood into the party ready to become engaged in politics and support Jeremy Corbyn with an increased mandate. Online and professional polling data indicated approximately 75% of newcomers were rapidly swelling Labour’s ranks to vote for Corbyn. The established elite took emergency action by raising the price of supporter membership from £5 to £25 (because pricing out the working class sounds like a legitimate electoral strategy, right?) and then taking 120,000 new members to court not once but twice when they still insisted on joining, to ensure they can’t vote for the new leader. A source close to Owen Smith told us, “To make Labour electable again we must purge our members of hope, and crush their dreams of a more democratic political system.” Understandably conversation between the warring factions of the Labour party took a more personal tone with Corbyn supporters turning into nasty internet trolls after being fed past midnight (Gremlins reference). Owen Smith has been at the centre of much of the online abuse, however being the sensible centrist he didn’t rise to the name calling and criticisms Jeremy Corbyn is guilty of he has pledged to “eradicate the hard-left militant Nazi Stormtroopers that are the parasitic Momentum group.”
Despite the successes of Corbyn’s leadership there has been a darker side… thanks to his personal encouragement and his inability to keep an omnipotent gaze over Twitter and all forms of social media; sexism, racism and anti-Semitism have become rife in the Labour party. When asked for proof that Jeremy Corbyn is causing anti-Sematic abuse in the party, it was sure confirmation that the interviewer was too a hard-left Trotsky anti-Semite. One Labour MP demonstrated their disgust on the MSM, “I can’t believe to what lows Jeremy Corbyn has dragged the Labour party, anti-Semitism has become a major issue for our party. I heard one member had heard from someone else who had read a tweet on the internet, that Jeremy Corbyn had coerced the individual to post anti-Semitic comments.” Disgusting. Labour First’s general secretary Luke Anklehurst was quick to back the evidence of anti-Semitism “We’ve repeated the claim so often, it must be true.”
We obtained an exclusive from moderate leadership contender Owen Smith on this issue, who is often seen resorting to accusations of anti-Semitism and sexism when he’s unable to debate the wider issues in televised live hustings. “Jeremy Corbyn is absolutely the source of anti-Semitism and sexist abuse in the Labour party.” Claimed the openly sexist leadership contender. “We can’t have this level of abuse aimed at members and MPs by the extremist hard-left parasites we call ‘majority of party’”, Smith added.
With just one week to go before the result of this second leadership election is announced, Smith’s team are busy ensuring Labour will be back on the path to victory under his leadership. If being openly sexist to Leanne Wood on TV, calling for a second EU referendum, informing the public that you fought off hundreds of other males to win your wife and purging hundreds of thousands of your own party members doesn’t win it in 2020, did Labour really stand any chance at all?